Books are such a powerful source of making one drift into a world away from their own! Excerpts from the book “A long way gone….memoirs of a lost soldier” reminded me of the first time I set footage into this country that I now call “Home away from Home” .....USA. Being an adulterated Hindu eating meat, my first experiences in seeking something that would serve as a proper meal was in the cafeteria in my University….which not only edified me with the terminologies related to food and dealing with the servers but also mutated my taste buds to suit the needs and adapt to the “In Rome Eat the Roman” way of dining!
After a survey and confident of having made the right choice for lunch, I decided to go for the “Cheese” burger which I assumed to be nothing but a chunky piece of cheese with a few veggies sandwiched between bread/bun (latter being the Indian way of addressing to bread in a burger) that I would savor with ketchup….alas…that excitement barely lasted for minutes until the first bite when I realized that the devious “cheese” in the burger was nothing but a misnomer and that it actually equated to meat that was consumed like cheese in America while on the contrast was a taboo for the “Hindus” in India…..BEEF!!! That was my first te-a-te with beef ….. an experience beyond words as while chewing, I too felt like a cow ruminating….chewing on heavy and hard fodder….to develop a taste for relishing it!!! My next step in exploring the food world was a term that only I would have understood if I had been the chef …..I always insisted for a “Chicken burger”….now the chicken made sense but what did I mean by burger which is a term used with cheese burger?? Did I mean that I wanted a concoction of chicken and beef on my sandwich or was I confused in knowing what I wanted for lunch? No wonder I received bewildered looks from the servers when I used my own terms….as I would force them to think that they either heard me wrong or I spoke a language that was foreign or I asked for something that they would have to invent for me!!! The minute I would read their faces I would immediately change my choice to a soup or a salad that held the same meaning in all the dictionaries alike. Least did I know that it was supposed to be a “Chicken Sandwich” or a “Cheese Burger” and not a cocktail!!!
Fortunately….soon enough….guidance from people I knew (and didn’t) elevated me to a platform where both the parties – me and the person opposite to me could comprehend each other…. not in sign language but via grammatically correct English....afterall that’s all it takes for Survival of the Fittest!!!

A GIRL child is born….. antediluvian times marked the girl child as being the advent of either Goddess Lakshmi into the house or a burden depending on the financial status of the family or the status of literacy!!! Twenty first century led most if not all into an era where the girl was considered no different from boys and was given the same prerogatives and privileges in the household as a boy child or possibly more pampering for being Daddy’s Little Angel!!! As the angel grows up her parents nurture her in a well knitted niche, an enclosed protected environment, in a sense of immaculate security, warmth, emotional support and the other peripheral nitty gritties to ensure the blossoming of a feather touch bud into a robust, will powered and a socially sound individual!!! As their little darling ventures into the realms of adulthood, and starts to decide for herself, parents are apprehensive of letting their invisible leash go off their hands although they rejoice and ardently hope that their baby (who always retains the status of a baby in the eyes of her parents) is heading in the right direction by making the right decisions governing her life….. while little is known what the future has in store…..Time passes by and the little angel insulated in the cocoon of her papa is handed over to yet another “so called” papa figure…..there comes the Grand OR….the “NOT SO” grand after a while entry of this character called the HUSBAND!!!!!

To begin with….the “HUS” band is all about I am all for you and none else…..I am your protector until death…..being a father figure (in metaphorical terms)…..You are beautiful to me the way you are….I will truly in literal sense act as your second half, lending a helping hand, dividing sorrows, multiplying the happiness……making the necessary compromises and molding into a better person for a better family…..sharing all aspects of life….a friend in need or not…in a crux….a TRUE COMPANION in all facets!! Well all these hyped, flattery, flowery, diabetic, pompous words tend to take the route of being converted into actions until and a little after the “BOY” in a “GIRL’S” life upgrades himself to the status of “THE MAN” in a “WOMAN’S” life.....the first rain and those little words hold no weightage!!!! Is it true that the second man in a woman’s life after the first (her father who doted on her) would truly in all senses replace and become the first man eventually or does he take the woman so much for granted as he dusts off his sandy promises that he deteriorates from being so close to being the first man to not being a MAN at all???? It is now when the “HUS” Band tends to start reflecting the attributes of and become legible to be entitled the honor of being addressed as a “HAS”Band!!!

There have been escalating evidences of men behaving ruthlessly with their dutiful wives not only in their states of marginal or negligible receptivity which can be accounted for and explained, for HE, The Superior Sex is immersed in….alcohol to suppress his sense of inferiority, BUT, also in their complete state of sense and sensibility….which I would explicate as a means to just re-establish to others and to themselves the long suppressed Male Chauvinism (MCP’s as we women aptly address them as!)…..and to prove a point that might necessarily not make any sense….but still since it is “HE” who is stating it…. well….it HAS to be accepted or else BAM BAM….there goes the woman’s face smashing against anything that comes in her way!! The woman would never ever have in her nearest nightmares have visualized her “HUS”band turning into a “HARSH”band!!!! Does seeking help from one’s MAN at times of need….when the woman is entangled into other businesses of the household and when the MAN is doing nothing but enjoying the wild cats on Nat Geo or the phony WWF wrestling OR is lazing giving orders to his “Love” a crime that he uses anything he is holding or can get a hold of to thrash the shock stricken woman of the house??? Or is it that “HE” finds it demeaning to be helping around on the home front when supposedly house caretaking is a “WOMAN’S JOB???!!!!” Who on earth made such preposterous rules and why should the woman be regarded nothing but a piece of shit or why should only she give in to all the whims and fancies of her so called “ COMPANION”…..while he just enjoys all the Maharaja treatment????!!!! Why cant MEN try and realize that life would be better enjoyed and understood and lived to its zenith if they throw some little respect to the opposite sex rather than humiliating them….a teaspoonful of acknowledgement to the woman for being there to sow up the broken strings in the family…a tablespoon of trust….a pinch of support….and garnish the dish by being nothing but just a BEST FRIEND to the woman??? Why?? Why?? Why??

Shattered are the dreams of the woman
For her Man was not a Man afterall
Strewn are the wishes of the father
For the father figure wasn’t even a human
Dejected are the hopes of the family
For the family ties remain loose ended
For there lies a decision so carefully plucked and trusted
Out in the dry barren sands of time
Vulnerable, wrecked, and disillusioned!!!

Last evening…was an evening spent making BIG plans for the night…venturing out for a nice dinner to Greek Town to celebrate my roomie’s bro’s stay in Chicago…ooh…..U wish that plans would work out the way u desire them to be!!! Finally with every moment transitioning from dusk to night….the plan got sucked into a quicksand with a bunch of languid sloths burning their pockets for rounds of Texas Hold’em and listening to the chillin playlist…..that played just the right concoction of songs to suit the “Poker Mood”!!

Soon I was transitioned into 10years into my past when my ears widened to that of the size of an elephant with a song that I had not heard for years and a song that me and my sister used to wait for hours and hours to be played on “MTV or Vchannel”. Hoping that the song would be played on one of the music channels we used to flip channels at the speed of light….discouraging all our family members from gaining access to their favourite channels….those were the days when me and my second sister used to have our study schedules….when she used to coax me in taking 15minute naps with her….merely for the sake of company….so that she doesn’t feel guilty of not studying when I am……that inevitably used to extend to multiples of 15…60, 90,120 whatever!!! Those were the days when all 3 sisters….used to share the same bed….trying to create our own very niche that would extend to an inch more than the allotted space (on either side)….being the youngest of the three musketeers, I was bullied to sleep in the middle while both my thug sisters would sleep lavishly on either sides of the bed……those were the days when inexorably no matter how much space my eldest sister received on one side of the bed she would push me with the chain reaction of pushing my second sister yelling that “ I don’t have any space to sleep….my entire leg is out of the bed”…HAH…wake up to inspect and you would barely find her little toe peeping out of the bedsheet, leave alone the BED!!! Those were the days when life had not only made us walk on fire but also taught us to laugh it off for life’s ups are never appreciated without its counterpart “Downs”!!

Soon….the realization of having lost to my opponents caused my brain to twist a whole 360degrees to the year 2007….to touch base with the fact that time has flown rocket speed and that I should too, to retaliate for the transitioned moments!!!

Ignorance is Bliss…..is a statement that I truly long to apply in my life although its next to being impossible as that phase of life comes only once……Childhood!!!
Reading my sister’s blog on her childhood days this morning combined with the rain that almost drenched me transitioned me into a totally different world….that period of my life when everything was just what it was at face value….nothing intricate!!! Wish I had a time machine that would allow me to take a trip back to days of pure simple fun whenever nostalgia would cloud my mind.
Every summer during my schooling days I used to eagerly wait for the trip that me and my family would take to meet my grandparents in Trivandrum. The very moment with the onset of the train journey when I used to pester my father for cutlets and a steaming hot cup of filter coffee (every few minutes) which was a taboo by my mother for a lame reason that I would turn as dark as the coffee (yeah right)..…well she has the same ban for me now after 20 some years of my life…..to the very end of the journey culminating in my grandfather’s arms was an experience beyond words!! The rest of the days would just swish by with my grandfather trying to get me behave in his terms and conditions and me being the little one and the pampered would find ways to evade everything he would want me to do in a manner that would not offend him….although I would efficiently find time to nitpick to my grandpa about the deplorable nicknames my father used to address me just to irritate me…….so that he could be reprimanded……Hmmmmm…….those were the good old days of my life……
As and when a strong blow of rain intermingled with the wind shook me from one nostalgic moment….I immediately seeped into another one and another until I realized that I was the last one to hop off the bus…..my own sweet mirage being disillusioned with just one song crossing my mind….Koi Lauta de mere beete hue din(Someone return my sweet old days!)…….

Can people ever be content with what life has in store for them or will they constantly be on the lookout for something...that something which they themselves are unsure & unaware of, but there lingers a feeling that if that something is achieved then probably life will be/might be a shade better than what they already are experiencing!!
Week passes by and if I take a moment to quietly think of what has been achieved....on a smaller note...yeah I accomplished what I had planned for but on a larger picture....WHAT?? To me it seems like all of us behave like tuned puppets where we wake up to see the light of the day and no matter how we feel we begin the rigmarole by confronting people with an amicable behaviour and a pleasant face.....work to accomplish the unforeseen or for mere survival ….and by the end of daylight we are fatigued by the nitty gritties…compensate our tiredness with a little some entertainment to finally retire into a comfortable fulfilling sleep to rejuvenate for yet another monotonous schedule…..all this for what??? Are we truly heading in the right direction towards making a sensible contribution into the future which is yet to unfurl??
If I ask myself whether I am "CONTENT" with my life....my answer would be a vague…probably NOT….what is it that I am lacking.....I guess I don’t know and I wouldn’t know until "THE MOMENT" when what is lacking makes a surprise visit!!!
What is our ultimate goal in our lives? What are we thriving for? What meaning does this living have? Are we all here to fulfill some pre-set duties or are we here to decide our mission for ourselves?? Destiny…as most of us would like to designate for any bewildering moments….do we carve our own destiny or is it what we call an “Eyewash” where one feels victorious in having conquered the unconquerable while on the other hand destiny is just waiting to make us realize how foolish we were??!! While I am on a quest to find answers to these unsolved mysteries I leave you here for more intricate and intertwined thoughts to sprout!!!